Yes! We all lost

So back in mid of April, precisely by the end of April, my Uncle tested CoViD positive. That moment onwards I was severely struck by the fact that how a pandemic have swallowed the whole world. Especially, at that time of the year, his place, Abudhabhi in UAE. Following day his wife; my Aunt, and their daughter tested positive. We all have bad days and those were ours. It got worst when my Uncle had breathing troubles and got shifted to hospital. And worsen next day, that morning when I called my mom and she burst into tears. She said that uncle fainted last night in the hospital and is in ventilator on life support now. Everything shattered for me in a moment. I still remember how tightly I hugged my husband just after the call. He assured me everything will be alright. I wept and wept and stayed in my bed half of the day. I felt numb. I wasn’t ready to even think about losing a person I love as much as I love my dad. I remembered all the good times I had with uncle. The last thing I wanted to do that day was to stop crying and getting out of that bed. But I had to drag myself out from the bed as my shift will start in 10 minutes. Life is strange sometimes, where we have to work even if we are on the verge of breakdown. For happiness, after two days, my Uncle got shifted back to room. He recovered soon and came back home. I couldn’t express the happiness I felt when I heard his voice the next time. What a comeback life!

Days passed by with good and bad days. If I say, it was mostly bad days for all of us, it will kill the cheer. For us, here in Canada, summer is happy time. So we were happy in short with pinch of sadness here and there to garnish life.

October came. Just by the mid of October, a cluster of positive cases formed in my husband’s home. His Grandma, Aunts, Uncles and my mother – in – law, almost a dozen of people tested positive. The stress loomed over us. Me and my husband consoled each other saying everything is going to be alright this time also. We remembered those April days where we kept on looking each others eyes and assured ourselves that nothing is going to be wrong. Things didn’t go well. Few days after, one morning, when I was half asleep, my husband spooned me tight and told me that his Grandma passed away. I know the whole world stopped for him that moment. We stayed silent in bed for some time and then we cried. We talked to our two and half year old son about the great Grandmother he lost and how delicious her cooking was. We told him all her stories even knowing that he can’t understand a single thing we are telling him. Three days after, we ended our days with the demise news of my husband’s uncle. Thus, we lost two souls to this deadly pandemic. Before all these, we always talked that noone will feel how terrifying this pandemic is until it impacts our own home and we had it. A big hard one. We still talk over dinner bout his Grandma and uncle. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes he cries and I console him. Some times we take deep breath and remains silent.

This post is to all who are out there. We all lost! We all lost someone we love, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a grandparent, a relative, a colleague, someone we care about. We all gone through struggles and still going through this. We all get irritated by the work-from-home. We all feel depressed on staying home. We all have that bad days and worst days. But there are always good days too. So stay home for few more days. Stay safe. We don’t want to be a part of losing someone because of us. This is going to be alright soon. Life will be back to normal if we act wise. Be that wiser person. We are in this together.

There are a few more I lost during this pandemic. My heart is grieving for them too.
– My elder Uncle who lost his battle to terminal illness. Maama, we all love you and will always miss you. May your soul rest in peace.
– My Uncle who lost himself to a cardiac arrest. A day when my mother lost her elder brother. We all pray for you.
– My husband’s friend’s wife who lost her life in a car accident. May her soul rest in peace. We all are there for him!
– And

My best fiend’s Mom.
Divya,
You were always there for my darker days. You always stood beside me in my ups and downs. You didn’t stop by consoling me but made me stronger with your words and I am sorry. I am sorry that I was not there with you physically on you bad days. But as we both know, I am always there for you and will be. I know somedays you thrived to talk to me and was in need of me. That’s when I hate this time difference. Again I m sorry for not being there always. I always think of your Amma and we wish for a happy place for her in heaven. Let she stay there and watch down our little Oryn playing. Not everyone says I am there for you but you always do that at the end of our call. You always says ‘Call me when you are sad or having trouble’. That makes you one of a kind and I am grateful to have you. Actually, WE (me, Ikka and Daniyal) are grateful to have you in our life. And in return, I will be there for you. Always!

I am writing after an year and this post is dedicated to:

My little sister Thasni who struggled through this pandemic and strived through the last weeks of her pregnancy thinking about her dad who was on life support. She was a strong contender and gave birth to our little Ayzin. I am always proud of you my girl!

My bother-in-law’s wife Thansi, who always reminds me that I can write and someone out there still loves my writing. She always asks me why I am not writing. I know this is a raw script but this is for you!

To my schoolmate turned best friend Vishnu Vijay who often comes and reminds me that our life changes but some things always remain same as our friendship.

Thank you my readers!
Stay healthy! Stay happy & Stay safe until we meet next time!

6 thoughts on “Yes! We all lost

  1. Happy to see your write up after a long time. It’s so sure that you put your whole heart into writing this. Still, the process of reading, comprehending, and holding breath all at once was difficult. And my eyes welled up without even me realizing it.
    Hoping and hoping that best and fair days are yet to come. And please keep writing ❤

    • Thank you for the comment Aishuse.. ❤️ It’s hard to write after a long time. It was so hard for me this time as I was feeling myself not worth to write. But I believed I need this for myself. Thank you for always encouraging me my sweetheart ❤️

  2. So sorry for your losses. Words fail me but as you mention in the post, try staying strong. It’s a bad time worldwide. May you have strength to tide over this period!

    Good to see you get back to writing. Please continue penning your thoughts.

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