It wasn’t a perfect morning for me. Still haunted by the beautiful moments with her; I couldn’t get off my mind from those days I lived with her. Yes! I am not living for the past few months. Walking and behaving like a corpse. Every day & night thinking over and over about the purpose of my existence without her.
I climbed the steps of the stadium & seated under a tree. Morning classes are over and I have a whole day left to roam around the town. It’s been three months here in the new place. Every day I chose to be here. Sitting among the gallery & finding myself lost in some bitter memories. The leaves of the tree murmured something. A green balloon of yesterday’s Heart Day March kept on striding in the air, it’s twain trapped among the branches of the tree. An uninvited grin covered my face. Is that balloon my heart? Trapped in haunting memories with a messed up brain, which can’t understand that past is past & we have to move on! Oh, She already moved on; now it’s my turn to bury the past. I m tired of acting in front of family & friends. Even if I m not, my body is tired of this fake smile I throw.
I pulled out my phone from the pocket & started striding through it. I re-read the texts from my close ones who always soothed me with their best ways. But each time I talk to them I can feel the wound in my heart opening up again & I can feel the spilt of blood. I looked at her Whatsapp DP. She again changed the picture. This time she is giving her usual big smile, her hands wrapped around her fiance’s neck. I felt the rush of my blood. I am a looser.
Ooh!! Loud shrieking voice broke my thoughts. Kids from the nearby special school are playing. They made loud laughter; for a moment I felt irritated. They are laughing & look at me! A dead heart and brain with some bones and flesh. For a while my inner voice told me to keep on watching them play. I felt myself drifting again in the thoughts. I re-called the word we use-Mentally Challenged. Mentally challenged kids. What that really means? They are far better than normal people who are challenged in every aspects of life. Once again I came back to the present.
They are getting arranged on a starting point. I guessed and cheered myself up for the upcoming race which gonna happen soon. The teachers tried their best to make them reach properly over the lane & the whistle is blown. They all gave a howl and started running with wide open smile on their face. Each and every one glowed in the morning sun rays. All of a sudden one among them stumbled & fell on the ground. He cried out in a loud voice & then it happened. All the kids who were running made a halt and ran back to the fallen one. They all lend hands to make him on foot. I saw sadness looming over each and every face seeing that one painful face of their friend. After making sure of himself that he is fine; the fallen kid started smiling. As sadness; happiness also is contagious. That single smile flourished and spread to everyone and ended up in loud laughter. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks & my lips made a slit and it gave the best smile after a long time. I felt a pain in my cheek bones.
I looked up. God! In this 23 years; I just felt that I m going through the best day in my life. The happiest moment. The day which made tremendous change in me. The day I stopped hating the life around & started loving it. The magic of some little kids!
It may be a day, an incident or a moment; look around, our life is out there!
Just inspired from an incident shared by my friend. 🙂 It’s been stuck unedited in my drafts for the past several months & today I felt no edits are in need and it’s time to publish.