Away from HOME – Phase 3

Β  Β Β Β 8 years before on a sunny morning I loaded my luggage to the car. What’s that feeling that haunted me? Still, I don’t know. Its like a little birdie getting out from mother’s wings. My eyes were welling up. I am gonna miss my room, my bed, my books, my home town. πŸ˜₯ Oye! You are only a 40 kms away from home. Really! Then why so much of this drama? Its on that morning I realized how it is; departing from home for a long time. I can come back every weekend; can feel that homely feeling once in every seven days; but still i was feeling numb. I felt a small tear rolling down my cheeks when our car took the bend and my home was out of sight. 😦 Mom and Dad is saying how to handle life alone; how to be brave; how to behave; how to be careful. I was 16 then,actually 15; will reach 16 two months later. So called bold and brilliant little girl from our family; who is ready to catch her dreams in the world of art and buildings. I wasn’t worried about anything; but my heart was cold ❀ . I couldn’t hear its lub dup; its almost out of order. Brain is out of order from the day I joined the college. Severe disorder to my whole body!! Master brain and lovely heart; they both seems to be resting in my room at home. πŸ˜›

PHASE 1

Yeah! After a great section of ragging (that time it was hurting but now seems to be funny!) and introduction i entered to the world of college and hostel life. 8 years and 3 different hostels; different satires; Archie life to Engineering life (from artist to professional); Student to Architect (from professional to actual professional) Different places, different rooms, different people. Hostel life is so called hell for everyone where we make heaven. Wherever i stayed till now; I made heaven out of that every hell. 3 years as a stubborn archie who always carried a pencil in her drooping pants; πŸ˜‰ Sleepless nights with my sheets and drawings; a world with colors and models (models of structures; not Lakme fashion week πŸ˜› ) Loosing weight; laughing at every simple things; finding my true love (first love is always special ❀ ); long walks; and living with least pocket money. It was the best I had. The first time I found outΒ what friendship is; what love is; what adjusting is; what is it like living with a bunch of people from different home; and moreover so many experiences over life. From the first phase of life away from home; I studied how to love each other; how to trust on someone and how not to break it. We managed to stuck in a room with 10 beds (which we changed to 8 and we 10 slept over that); 2 tables (both with my sheets stick over that). We never complained; but we enjoyed every moment with tears and laughs. The people who taught me to smile at every conditions; to sing on every worries; to sleep with my tensions over submissions and to praise the Almighty for everything!! πŸ™‚

PHASE 2

Then Β the second phase of life away from home. Crying days cause of missing old room mates; 😦 stuck among some seventy people who are already friends for the past one year and I am new Alien to them. And the life with some higher standard people who always carried a thought that they are bigger than anyone cause they are Engineers. πŸ˜› From there I studied what wrath is πŸ˜› ; what hate is; what betrayal is; how is it like cheating someone with whom we are sleeping everyday; how is it like taking someone’s precious thing and ruining it; how is it like sitting for combine study and having a urge in mind that I m gonna score more than you πŸ™‚ ; how is it like spending more money on nothing we need; how it isΒ like complaining on everything; and moreover whats backstabbing. I know someone among those people will read this one day and will realize how I felt for them. This is not what I felt then; this is what my realizations are after that 3 years of life. I won’t complain you cause even my cousins did the same to me; Betrayal; so why can’t you! πŸ˜› I would better study from them how to keep that hate towards anyone for a long time for no reason; how to cheat someone who is in your room for the past two/three years; how is it to betray your best friend (so called best friend). Strange people; strange life it is!! πŸ™‚

PHASE 3

Through which I am going now. My life with some responsible; still funny and loving people; a set of crazy ones who are trying hard to build up their career to whom I never tried to mingle with; but all fell in place and they seems to be getting adjusted to me! (Yes; m pretty confusing often πŸ™‚ ). I was worried of joking over them; make fun of them; even to care them. I was wrong often! Now I started joking over them (they over me too); make fun of them (they over me too); even started caring them(they care me too) πŸ˜› . Some different mind sets who never attracts; but for God’s sake we never repels. Thank God for making me keep a short distance between everyone among us. Cause that short distance is making us together always. Thank God for making them give me my space in my life (Not blaming over my friends, my books, my songs, my writings, my weirdness, my madness, my life). They are the well mannered well behaving people. May be cause we are all responsible working people (of same age! πŸ™‚ ) But this is another dimension in my life! πŸ™‚

Toast for all the people who made me smile on my days away home. Dedicated to all my hostel mates (who made me happy) in this journey of life. πŸ™‚ Don’t ever feel that there were no bad ones in my Phase 1 and good ones in Phase 2. There were; but these are only the memories which remains now. Don’t think they are the only one who betrayed me. Sometimes my family people πŸ˜› and my so called friends did the same. Don’t think that they are the only one who makes me happy. I have my princess of love who makes me laugh in tears (my Mayasa ❀ πŸ™‚ ❀ ); my own brother who always makes me smile in every situation (my AaashiΒ πŸ™‚ ❀ ); my wonderful buddy who always says I am the best (my Vichu πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚Β ); my reflection in life who always makes me feel we are the only two extinct pieces in our species (my Boss ❀ ❀ ); my family and a crazy set of siblings who always makes me feel I am special. So many people here and there! Long live this wonderful people. ❀

Nuz’ha, Shari, Ahalya, Sini Chechi, Maria, Greeshma, Sheena Chechi, Anju Chechi, Aswathi Chechi, Dhanya Chechi, Akhila, Daly (In first phase πŸ™‚ )

Aisha, Vrindha, Akhila, Hiba, my lil junior fellows and MBA mates (In second phase πŸ™‚ least in count)

Akhila, Vidhya, Limiya, Bhagya, Deepthi, Aswani, Soorya, Kala (In third phase πŸ™‚ )

Its just a simple thought of what makes me happy in this hectic life made me write this blog ❀ Love you all ❀

An Open Letter.. Really harsh One!

Why should I write this is a question. The only answer that rings in my mind is I wanna relax and throw off my frustration over everything.

Yes! This is an open letter to my relatives. Some close ones in my family. I can’t find anything wrong in writing this against you people. Cause this is my platform of writing and my world of opinions. If you wanna say something to me, come in front of me and say it to my face and m doing this cause my parents don’t allow me to talk; talk to elder people harshly. πŸ™‚

My dear LIC uncle, his beloved wife; the head mistress, the younger son; upcoming doc cum spoiled brat, the middle one (no word to describe you), her husband (self esteemed brother in law)…

Long list. Huh! Who cares. I m writing this to you because you deserve this. Something harsh and hard which never makes you sad. You always think we are lower than you. I know well that economically I can’t reach you. Never ever! But we got a character. For me, I got a character and a little common sense than you. I know that’s why you people chose to fight with my parents on the day when I wasn’t there. WOW πŸ˜€ and what a performance by my little brother. Brother, being a doctor doesn’t mean that you can tell anything. Being a doctor is more than being a human and I know you can’t be that. And for your special notice, its not the first time I m seeing a doctor. My brother is a well mannered doctor who have a heart which you don’t have. And the main part is, its money which makes you a doctor. Not your mind to service or urge to study. And I feel pity on your parents on spending lakhs over you to make you a doctor. First be a human, then be a doctor. πŸ˜› and dear uncle, you were better before and not even good now. The crorepathi tag and American tours by you never make me respect you. I can also be a crorepathi LIC agent if I had no self esteem and ready to ask anyone thousand times for getting a policy and knocking the doors again and again for your business. And the American tours and everything you are going, that I can also do if I have money. And from your talks and photos I know you never touched the heart of any places you went. It was always a piece for boasting. But to say, travelling is an art, an art which makes you you. That never happened to you. Sorry, I m being a little harsh. And to my head mistress, I respect you cause I respect my teachers. But to tell, you spoiled your kids and uncle. And stop itching me. Stop making fun of others cause they don’t have money. Money is peice of paper, BOOM, it will get fire one day. You believe you are the best in the world. But for me you are the worst and I had seen far better people than you. And to my dear sis, thanks for thinking me as your same blood. But I think a lot more people in earth is having that B+ve blood, consider them too as your blood. I don’t curse you on making my eyes wet, but keep in mind that you hurt me. I won’t forget even if I forgive. And my dear brother in law, just stop holding your wife’s pallu and following her feet. Almighty had given you a lot better back bone than me, so please study to stand straight. And most important, please learn how to behave to guests (don’t learn from your wife or family, prefer your family).

To all of you, stop intruding to our family over silly matters. I don’t care. Please. Once more if you are over my parents like this, you gonna know who I am. Really! And don’t make your opinions on anything if the victims are not there. If you have any problem, tell your daughter to fly down from Qatar and then talk. Otherwise get lost and don’t fight over my matters if I m not in the scene. Stupidity! And do keep in mind I DON’T CARE πŸ˜› .

And to my elder uncle and aunty,

If you don’t know what really happened please don’t comment on anything. Feeling too pity over you on taking part in the battle only by hearing what they told. And for your knowledge I would like to say that the problem was between me and that middle sister. And I was the victim and she is the accused and why the hell you came to my home when I wasn’t there and shouted over my parents only by hearing their part? For you too, I DON’T CARE πŸ™‚

And to one more person I loathe in my life, dear cousin sister, thank you for giving me your home, food and everything when I was in need and a very big thanks for that mail you send. That too with a very well crooked planning. How sinful. And hats off to your crooked mind. And for your knowledge, if you wish to break me, you can’t do it baby! I was broken and now welded well together. Even fire can’t make me collapse. If you wanna hurt me and make me collapse, just kill someone close to me, or else I JUST DON’T CARE. Don’t care about anything.

And that’s it. What I feel now is a relaxed mind. Don’t think am a bad girl who throw such words over my relatives. M sorry, I never mind on anything you think. M like this and this is the best way through which I can express frustration. I wish one day those people should read this and realize how much I hate them and how bad I feel for them.